Joining the club
by hanakotoba
Summary: Lucina and Robin are elated at the prospect of meeting legends of their time when they are invited to join Smash. What they didn't expect was how insane legends of other worlds were, and consequently, how much of a disaster zone the tournament was. *Rated for swearing, crude humor, and some BL-ish things


Joining the club

Lucina and Robin are elated at the prospect of meeting legends of their time when they are invited to join Smash. What they didn't expect was how insane legends of other worlds were, and consequently, how much of a disaster zone the tournament was.

**Warnings: Characters may be OOC. In other words, please don't take this seriously. Also, some Zelda and FE spoilers.

CH.1 Lucina and Robin join the fun

"So a little bird told me" Peach chirped, happily swishing her tea a little too enthusiastically for Link's comfort, who in turn leaned away nervously in case the hot liquid decided to slosh onto his face. "that another princess is joining our lovely Smash family."

Princess Zelda, who was sitting across from Peach, sipped her tea calmly before replying to the news, "I see. How wonderful."

"Where is she from, Princess Peach?!" Link's fairy, Navi(I know it's not Navi in smash but TP Link's fairy is unnamed so this is Navi) tinkled with the enthusiasm her princess lacked.

"Oh, I forgot!" Peach giggled, then added, "but Captain Falco told me she had blue hair so probably from Fire Emblem."

Link sighed in relief and appreciation. He was fond of the current 2 FE veterans on the roster. Both of them were sane, quiet, and nice, which was saying something. "Ohhh! Can't wait to meet her!" Navi tittered, expressing her approval as well.

But with good news, also came some bad news about other new fighters as well. Just as Zelda, Link(Navi) and Peach were enjoying their chatter and tea, Toon Link burst into the tea room in a fury. "I….I… I can't BELIEVE!" he screamed, waving his short arms around and stomping his little feet in anger. "That… that bastard has a TWIN, and he's joining the tournament!"

"You don't mean… Pit? _Double_ Pit?" Navi asked in awe, while Link shook his head and wondered if he should consider asking Zelda to make him deaf so he wouldn't have to listen to more constant babbling.

"YES!" TLink affirmed, starting to pace around the room to further show his frustration. "And his goddess is joining too, so it's going to make it harder to bu- I mean, try to get rid of him."

"My my! Another goddess joining our midst!" Peach proclaimed, ignoring the woes of the little hero. "Zelda, you're gaining so many friends! Next thing we know, we'll be hearing of a ninja joining us too!"

"Sheikah are not ninjas." Zelda answered simply, while Link looked at her suspiciously at Peach calling her a deity. Maybe a different version of him knew about that, but he didn't.

Before he could get Navi to state his question, a flurry of feathers and loud screaming filled the room as the object of TLink's anger came barreling through the ceiling. Pit picked himself up off the ground and brushed off some imaginary dirt and fixed his feathers before obnoxiously pointing one of his short swords at his arch nemesis.

"I heard you talking crap about Pittoo! He's awesome! And besides, Lady Palutena let me bring a wider repertoire of weapons this time so you better watch your back!"

"Pittoo?" TLink snarled, raising an eyebrow and brandishing his sword as well. "What a dumb name! and besides, I don't care what crappy weapons you have! As long as I drink a potion, I should be fine!"

At this, Pit grinned evilly, "No you won't. Since you're a dumbass you probably don't even know my namesake! 'Pit' comes from 'Cupid'. So even _you_ should know what my special arrows do."

Just as TLink was about to answer with another insult (plus he actually didn't know what Pit meant by special arrows), Peach scurried over in excitement at the newfound knowledge and grabbed the startled angel by the shoulders. "Really? You must let me know what you plan to do with those arrows! I have so many suggestions!"

Link watched nervously as the scene unfolded in front of him, also confused as to the significance of Pit's arrows. Meanwhile Princess Zelda kept drinking her tea while ignoring the ruckus. "It's going to be a loooong day!" Navi tittered, zooming around her friend's head.

Meanwhile, in a different part of the Smash castle, Prince Marth was realizing a newfound ability: being able to understand English. Unfortunately for him, he still couldn't speak it so he would still have to ask his friend Ike to voice his thoughts to others for him like Navi does for Link. (Except Link doesn't ask, Navi just talks) Still, it was a step up from before, so the prince was in good spirits.

Speaking of Ike, he hadn't seen him yet since they had been summoned back for this tournament. He decided to go look for him since he wanted to find out what revamps his friend had acquired.

Unbeknownst to the prince, however, Peach and Pit were now on the hunt for _him_. Peach erroneously believed that Ike and Marth were super totes in love with each other and were just in denial. To solve this (nonexistent) issue, she had convinced Pit to shoot both of them with his arrows so they would have an excuse to show their "true" feelings. Although Pit didn't believe in her fantasy, he decided to tag along and cooperate since it sounded like fun.

Having no clue about disasters such as impending quarrels and abuse of powers already set to happen, Lucina, and Robin arrived at the gates of the Smash castle.

"This is it." Robin muttered, nodding encouragingly at his companion.

Lucina smiled in response, and was about to reach for the gate when a shout from behind them distracted her.

"Oh!... my gawd…"

"Dude, you are in a _serious_ need of a haircut."

The two looked behind them, only to be staring at three strange creatures(Sonic, Fox, and Falco) who were gawking at Lucina like she had committed some crime.

Sonic shook his head and tittered, wagging his finger at Falco. "He can't understand you, remember? Man, where's his bodyguard/interpreter when you need him?"

"But seriously though, I don't know what bothers me more: that they've somehow gone and made him more unashamedly feminine, or that he wouldn't look half bad as a girl." Fox muttered.

Lucina, confused and a little insulted, decided to speak up. "Excuse me, but I am perfectly capable of understanding you three."

Silence fell between the 3 creatures, as they once again gawked at Lucina as if she had grown another head.

"You…. You… you can finally!" Fox exclaimed, his eyes almost brimming with tears at the prospect of finally being able to directly communicate with who he thought was a long time fighting companion.

"Where's your bodyguard?" Falco asked, and added on "and dude, you seriously need a haircut."

"Why?" Lucina asked, narrowing her eyes and glancing at her hair, wondering why it was offending these creatures so much. And also, confused as to why they were speaking to her as if they've known her for a while. Also… what bodyguard?

"I think they're mistaking you for someone el-" Robin piped up, before he was shoved aside by a ball of blue fur and flying hair.

"You're too slowW!" Sonic cackled, as he whizzed past the 2 new FE fighters. The hedgehog paused in his escape for a second to turn around and look at his work. Grinning in what seemed like a look of satisfaction, the hedgehog then ran off into the castle and out of site.

"Crap…" Fox whispered, looking sideways at Falco. "Let's get the hell out of here. I think there's been a big mistake."

"Ditto." Falco answered just as quietly, while shaking his head in disbelief, "I don't think that's Marth. He wouldn't have let such a psycho with a sharp thing near his neck."

"Yea, plus he can't speak English."

Before Lucina or Robin had a chance to fully realize what had occurred, the remaining 2 creatures also zipped past them at incredible speeds.

"What just ha-"

"Lucina…" Robin started, unsure of how to break the news to her, "your hair."

"Wha-" Lucina froze, shocked as she instinctively reached back to feel her hair, only to swipe air. Robin whipped out a hand mirror (his pockets are bottomless pits that hold everything) and held it up to her face. Lucina gasped as she looked at the now shorthaired reflection of herself. "I can't believe," she whispered, sounding extremely ashamed, "I can't believe I let my guard down like that."

"You still look fine." Robin assured her, putting the mirror back in his pocket. "besides, the shorter hair is more practical for fighting. I've always wondered why you let that hair of yours flow even though it should surely get in the wa-" he stopped as he saw his friend narrowing her eyes. "You look fine! Just fine! Let's go inside already!" he giggled nervously, and started walking quickly towards the doors of the castle with a slightly upset Lucina trudging behind him.

As the two neared the doors, it suddenly burst open as 2 Miis greeted them loudly. "HEYA!" one screeched enthusiastically, throwing up a hand at Robin's face; it probably wanted a high five but unfortunately Robin wasn't familiar about such practices, so all the Mii did was scare him and make him topple backwards and fall on his butt.

"GreeeetingSS!" The other one added on, just as energetically as the other Mii. This one gave Lucina a (too) tight bear hug, causing her to cough violently once the Mii let her go.

"Do we ever get a break in this place?" Robin muttered, picking himself up and brushing himself off. Mii 1 (the high fiver) heard his comment.

"YES! We can show you the break rooms later! But since you two are new to this place, we need to show you guys arooound!" it spread its arms and twirled around violently, actually hitting Robin in the face this time.

Mii 2 (hugger) chimed in too, just as eager to join in the hospitality, "YES! Even if you're a veteran, plenty of updates have been made this time around, so bear with us for a few!"

That's when Mii 1 elbowed Mii 2 harshly in the ribs, "They're both new, ya dumb-butt!"

"…Oh?... really?" Mii 2 frowned, glancing up at Lucina, then frowned at Mii 1 , "The sword, the sword is different." Mii 1 whispered so loudly, it was meaningless to do so because both Robin and Lucina heard every word perfectly.

Mii 2's eyes lit up as it looked at Lucina's sword hilt as directed, and finally seemed to believe Mii 1.

"Sorry about that! Both new!" Mii 2 piped up, laughing loudly. "You two must be Rooobin and Luuucina!"

The two friends nodded dumbly, acknowledging their names. Robin wondered if the Miis had to scream every word, while Lucina wondered why people kept thinking she was a veteran.

"FOollow us then! Let's start-a-up this tour!" Mii 1 exclaimed, violently motioning to the two to follow it to what looked like a grand hall.

The Miis led them to a gigantic room that was lit only by the dots of light lining the dark red carpet paths that snaked around the equally dimly lit glass cases that were scattered about the huge room. Each of the crystal clear cases was filled with glittering trophies.

Since the room was dark and the ceiling high and not visible, every softly spoken word echoed. The museum like atmosphere was a complete contrast from the chaos they were experiencing just moments before.

But of course, the Miis gave no heed to things like atmosphere or mood based on places, so they went right on screeching.

"So these figures or trophies or whatever are sorted based on which world the things represented in them come from!" Mii 1 introduced proudly, waving its arms around.

"Like THIS fella!" Mii 2 jabbed at a nearby glass case so forcefully, Lucina worried it might break, "is a Pika-chu! Cute thing from the Pokieman world!"

"See look! Each world has a logo!" Mii 1 added on, pointing to the Pokemon logo that was engraved on the dark granite base of the glass case. Mii 2 nodded in agreement, while Robin mentally made a note of that useful information.

"So what's our-" he started, but was cut off by the Miis who seemed impatient to keep the forced tour going.

"Aand enough of THIS room!" Mii 1 shouted, gesturing for the 2 to follow it again. "You can come back here later to look at it all you want. Let's keep moving!"

Lucina and Robin hurriedly followed the Miis out of the room as their guides bounded happily upstairs. They then stopped in front of a normal looking wooden door that sported a simple sign that hung haphazardly from a rusty nail.

"Well, as the sign says, this is the art room." Mii 2 introduced, not shouting for once. "this is where fighters make great pieces of art." It whipped out a photograph and showed it to Lucina and Robin as if to prove a point, "I mean, look at this masterpiece! It brings me to tears every time."

It was a picture of Kirby singing Karaoke with the floating face of the Brain Age professor that was singing numbers instead of musical notes.

"Ah, yes." Lucina nodded, wondering what kind of crazy rabbit hole she had wandered into, "masterpiece." It didn't help that she didn't know Kirby or the Brain Age professor.

"Okay next!" Mii 1 shouted, gesturing towards the other end of hall. They were then shepherded towards another unassuming door, but in the wall next to it, was a futuristic looking panel with a series of words and buttons.

"This is the portal to the training rooms!" Mii 1 introduced, gesturing towards the panel. "and this contraption lets you choose which terrain, dummy, and BGM you want to train on."

"How do you use it?" Robin asked quickly, hoping that this question would be heard.

Mii 2 stared at him weirdly, before answering. "No one knows. Well, maybe the techie ones know…like Metroid, Pikmin, Fox, Bird, and that other new one… that Australian kid."

Mii 1 elbowed the other Mii again. "you idiot! You forgot Zelda! He solves puzzles all the time in his world, right? I'm sure he can figure it out too."

"This is where we disagree." Mii 2 rebutted, "cause he don't seem that bright to me."

"Anyway" Mii 1 looked at them, eager to continue the tour, "let's get away from here to finish up the tour. It's dangerous to stand in front of this door for too long."

"Besides, we need to show you to your rooms." Mii 2 added, "and catch the next new arrivals."

Lucina and Robin nodded quietly, eager to get away from the Miis and finish exploring on their own. The two followed their guides quietly as the Miis kept chattering loudly in front of them while walking.

"Hey we're apparently getting another look-alike in the next arrival!" (Mii1)

"Look-alike to who?" (Mii2)

"Pit"(Mii1)

"How can I tell them apart?"(Mii2)  
"The wings! He has black wings" (Mii1)

"Laamee!" Mii2 cackled mean-spiritedly, and Mii1 joined in the laughter.

"Hey, it's not-" Lucina was about to interject, before Robin put his hand on her shoulder and shook his head quietly.

"Look, it's not worth it. Let's just get to our rooms." He didn't need to be a tactician to know that trying to argue with these Miis was like trying to argue with a pet robot. In other words, a waste of time and resources.

And just as Robin predicted, the Miis gave absolutely no heed to the small outburst that had occurred behind them, and went right on charging to what seemed like a far-removed wing of the castle. The Miis made a sharp turn, causing Robin and Lucina to lose sight of them for a second. Not wanting to get lost before they got to their rooms, they hurriedly turned to corner as well and almost toppled over as they were greeted with a gigantic set of double steel doors. The Miis were standing impatiently in front of the doors, and started running their mouths the moment they saw that the fighters had arrived.

"This is your series wing." Mii1 started, and jabbed with its finger the small, golden plaque of the sword logo placed at the side of the right door. "The door and the wing are modeled slightly after your boss's castle, I think, so he feels more at home. Or so Master Hand says."

"Well, except it only has 5 bedrooms." Mii2 said, "So clearly not to the scale of his castle, but you get the point."

"Boss?" Robin inquired, quirking an eyebrow. The one boss he had was back home, so he had to assume they were talking about someone else.

"Yes, yes. Your Prince Marth or something." Mii1 said, exasperated. "or is he king now? I don't know. But each series gets a representative, and he's the rep for yours."

"Yea, wonder if he's in. I wanna say hi, even if he can't talk back I think he's nice." Mii2 added, then jumped up to grab a knocker and banged it against the door with full force so as to make sure if anyone were inside, they would know someone was here for business.

In the meantime, Mii1 threw Robin and Lucina their individual keys (gate key + personal room), which hit Robin in the face while Lucina caught it with her quick reflexes.

After standing there for at least a full 2 minutes outside the wing and getting no response, Mii1 shook its head and patted its companion on its shoulder. "Perhaps we should go. It seems he is not in."

"Shame." Mii2 answered, also shaking its head. Then it looked up at Robin and Lucina, and gestured towards the doors. "We'll be taking our leave now. Use the golden key we gave you for the doors here, and use the silver one for your individual rooms. The silver key should have a colored jewel set in it, so just go into the room with the matching color jewel set in its door."

"Bye-a. We need to go greet some losers so we're gonna run. Have fun!" Mii1 yelled, and zoomed off with Mii2 following behind it.

"Well" Robin said, rubbing his nose where the key had hit him, "we're finally here. This is it."

"Yes." Lucina nodded, then reached for the doors and…opened them. They weren't even locked.

Next:

 _(FE)Roy arrives with Ryu, and the redhead is a jerk._

"You're looking for a challenge?" Roy asked, his eyes lighting up as he looked up at the buff man. "Then…" he motioned for Ryu to lean down to his level so he could whisper into his ear. "Kiss…her." the redhead then pointed towards the blue-haired prince he had spotted in the distance. "She's really strong but she won't fight you unless provoked."

Roy nodded encouragingly at the larger fighter who looked at him with doubt. Lucas, the timid boy who had also arrived at the gates at the same time as the two men, looked at the exchange in fear.


End file.
